Friday, November 19, 2010

Wetting the Bed...

So I have this friend who shall remain nameless although, if you know me on a personal level you can probably figure out who I am talking about. Anyway, this bed wetter is quite the character!

For this kid, the drinking begins usually around the same time as a family would sit down and enjoy a nice wholesome dinner, 6PM. He casually starts with a couple of PBRs, yes that cheap shitty beer. I mean seriously if I could wipe my ass with a liquid, it'd be PBR! Nonetheless, after the PBR is gone he normally goes to the freezer and pulls out his pride and joy, and secret weapon, a nice ice cold bottle of Wild Turkey.

Then he heads out to the bar, usually trailing behind the rest of his sausage fest. For about the next 2 hours you can see him alternating between the bottle of PBR he purchased from the bar and the flask of whiskey he snuck in the door. Once his flask and wallet run dry you can usually find him searching the unbussed tables for any unfinished drinks, yes ladies and gentleman if there is any liquid left in that cup he WILL drink it!

Pending he doesn't find some random stranger to fight or a police officer to mouth off at he usually stumbles back to his place before sunrise.


He wakes up with no sheets on the bed and his girlfriend screaming his name in disgust. Why, you ask? Ohhh only because it was the 2nd weekend in a row he opted to just pee all over himself, his bed, and his girlfriend instead of standing up and walking the 10 feet necessary to reach the toilet.

For most people peeing the bed usually stops around the ages of 6 or 7. Unfortunately for this guy pictured below, peeing the bed is still a regular occurence at the age of 23.

 "The Bed Wetter"
 Whatsup Racoon Eyes!!!

Feel free to share your condolences for his gf below!


  1. Fuckin Pierce.....this is all true, yet I'd like to report that last night I did NOT piss the bed. My gf was better prepared for it this time though, she had laid out a towel on my side of the bed and also took all the pillows away from me. And I gotta defend Turkey and PBR.....they are Heaven-sent and together they can solve all your problems! The picture you posted is hilarious, it's actually me just waking up last year after Carolina Cup, hungover and sunburnt as shit.

  2. Wow... congratulations!!! Do you think you will ever stop wetting the bed?